The thought of me being able to manage on my own is overwhelming to say the least. A two acre property and a house in dire need of repairs. Two horses, 3 dogs. One of which is nearly 15 years old. He sort of reminds me of my husband during his last days. He sleeps most of the time and barely has enough energy to lift his head. I fear his end is coming soon, but I’m going to love him until the end. He deserves that much. The other two are still young and full of life. Then, there’s the parakeet. He’s not much trouble at all. Just let him out of his cage daily, keep him fed, watered and he’s happy to fly around unnoticed.
It all seems like normal. So you think. It’s brutal around here late at night. Fond memories of my husband and I talking about our day. Watching TV and relaxing from my job. Wishing at times, he’d just be quiet. How I wish, he was here to annoy me with his barrage of verbal chatter. There are so many constant reminders. The little things, I took for granted, are no longer missed. There weight, lay heavy on my shoulders. Those small things, I never did. He did them for me. Man’s work, he called them. Surprisingly enough, subconsciously, I must have paid attention. I got a couple of things done today he normally did.
Today, I had the horse trailer transferred into my name and got it registered. It was pretty simple. Now, it’s ready to roll with the horses in it. I also showed up for a couple of doctors appointments. They were long over do. I’m going to try and keep up with my health better. My husband was always after me to go the doctor. Later in the day, I hooked up the horse trailer and took it to the car wash. I got the truck and the trailer washed. It felt good to be able to do it on my own. It felt even better, knowing, my husband had a huge role in the way I handled it. I’ll never again, be able to tell him, just how much I appreciate him. One things for certain. I will never lay down and give up. I’m determined, even though he’s not here to see it. To make him proud.