I wasn’t going to do this. However, I feel the need to do a tribute to the man who I had spent the majority of my life with. I’m almost positive some wouldn’t agree. But, “this is my party and I’ll cry if I want to”! And, quite frankly, people need to know how special, this man is to me. I had to say good-bye to my husband. He passed away after a long battle from heart disease and COPD, Tuesday July 21, 2015. There’s no way a person can ever prepare themselves for the death of a loved one. I thought, I had. Without a doubt. It was the most brutal experience, I’ve have ever gone through, and will continue to long suffer, for the rest of my life.
It all began in 1980. Ronnie and a friend of his came to a place where I was boarding my horses. They were there to look at a team of mules the facility owner had for sale. Ronnie was in the market for something to pull his covered wagon. I was saddling my horse when Ronnie’s friend approached me. An obnoxious individual hitting on me for a date. I tried not to notice. The guy got so pushy. I had to ask Ronnie to put a leash on his dog! I was furious. It was then, we struck up a conversation. We talked mostly about how he’s not seen me around there before. I was new to Dallas, Texas. I briefly explained why I was living there. He asked if I had anyone to ride with. I told him, no. I hadn’t met any friends in the Dallas area, yet.
Our conversation was cut short. He was taking care of some business and needed to go to work. I got busy with my horse and didn’t notice they left the premises. A couple of hours later, Ronnie drove back into the parking lot. He had a horse trailer hitched to his truck. He even brought a horse. Ronnie approached me. He asked if I’d like to go for a ride. ‘I thought you had to work today’? He said “I have better things to do”. I was a little taken back by surprise. I didn’t even know this guy. Against my better judgement. I accepted his invitation. We loaded my horse and off we went. There was a 500 hundred acre tract to ride on in the area. It was behind the Mountain View College. I’d never been there before. It was a beautiful ride. Great conversation and a pleasant person to share it with.
That day was the beginning of a friendship. We were like two peas in a pod. He was the fire that lit my candle. The period that ended a sentence. Ronnie was like the Sun. I was the earth and drew the energy from him, I needed. He knew what I needed. Even if, I didn’t know it for myself. I confided in him and he never judged me. He lifted me up when I was down. He was always there to give me sound advice, whether I wanted to hear it or not. A constant reminder, I could be anything, I wanted to be. All I had to do, was lift my wings and fly. A positive role model. I wasn’t aware of it, until much later in our relationship. For some odd reason, we parted ways for a time. It was maybe, a couple of years or so. It wasn’t until 1984, we picked up where we left off.
I’ll begin with is favorite quote from me: “I lost you once in life, I won’t lose you again”. Instead of renewing a friendship. It was then, we decided to become more. We started dating in 1984. On Oct 3, 1986 we were married. Like most marriages, it was on fire for the first few years. We had many ups and downs. The marriage was rocky at times. Marriages are hard. Life is hard, but I always knew, even in hard times, I was the center of his world. If I had forgotten, they’re were plenty of people who reminded me. “You are”, the most important person, in his life. That was something, I will never forget.
I really thought this might be difficult to write. Instead, it’s the easiest thing, I’ve ever done in my life. He could be demanding, impatient, and a very jealous man. He was obnoxious and loud. A tell it like it is person, (the way he saw it) whether you liked it or not. He was gruff, right to the point and overly opinionated, to a fault. Ronnie cussed like any good sailor should. Though, he never served in the armed forces. He would smoke 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day. Never took care of his health until it was far from repair. He would wear the same clothes over and over until there were holes in them. He had nice clothes, but didn’t want to mess them up. It infuriated me to the ends of the earth.
In spite of all his faults. Ronald Alton Murphy became my best friend. My inspiration. He wasn’t a perfect man. But, he was the perfect man for me. He put up with all my faults. All my idiosyncracies. My temper tantrums, my whining and above all, my need to get down on myself frequent attitude. He pushed me to be the best person, I can be. The one person who saw, the greater things in me, more than I did in myself. There was nothing, he thought I couldn’t do. The kindest man, I’ve ever known in my life. He was the very rock I stood on. A pillar of his community. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for his neighbors. A loyal employee of “The City Of Dallas”. He was loving, loyal, and sincere in everything he said. You always knew where you stood with him. A good provider. A good father and one of the hardest working men I knew. There was, nothing, he wouldn’t do for me. Even if, he had to work long hours and double shifts to give this family what we needed and always thought he needed to do more. He reminded me often, “everything always works out”.
Some women could spend a lifetime looking for the one who fits them perfectly. My advice: stop looking. I already found the perfect man. He is no longer a part of this world. He’s now preparing a place for me. The place we all long to be after we pass on. Along side him, and the one who made all this possible. Our loving creator and father, ‘God Almighty’. Until we meet again. I love you, Ronnie Murphy.
Now and forever!